BUILDING SPIRITUAL INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE


Before I go ahead with this post, I will like to say that I am not writing from a wife’s perspective but from an experience I had which helped me understand quite a lot about living in the same house with another believer. Last year, I was living with my sisters in their house in another city, as much we had a great time living together we hardly prayed together. Funny enough, we are all born again and actively spreading the Gospel of Christ and yet we prayed only on occasions. Our feeble excuse was that they were working on their master’s dissertation while I was working. When they were at home, I was at work and when they returned home we’ll all be tired or I was already sleeping. Many times we tried praying together but it always ended up as a one-day event. When I moved to another city, everything suddenly changed; I had time to study my Bible, read and pray. I was able seriously to manage my time to have some time reserved exclusively for studying before bedtime. I began asking myself questions about why we couldn’t pray together successfully everyday or even at least 5days in a week. Thus, I specifically used marriage as an example because it happens more in marriage than any where else. Before marriage many Christ conscious singles have developed the habit of either praying before bedtime or waking up at night to have a time of fellowship with God; they study the Word, sing, pray (in some cases aloud or silently). But when you get married, you will have new responsibilities like taking care of your new home, your husband and don’t forget you still have church commitments, your job and many more. It’s so possible to ignore spending time together as a couple in fellowship with the Father. These two suggestions I believe will enlighten us to build a great spiritual bond in marriage and even with kids it won’t be burdensome.
Have individual times of prayer and fellowship: In life they are certain things that if you cannot successfully do alone you will hardly succeed in doing it with another person. Prayer is one of those things; if you don’t have a private time when you pray you will find praying with someone else burdensome.  Cultivate the habit of spending time alone with God and be intentional about it because you will need to grow more and more in an attitude of commitment.  Pray for yourself, pray for the ministers of the Gospel, pray for the church of Jesus Christ, your family, friends and many more. Spend time thanking God for His wondrous works in your life, sing songs of adoration, meditate on God’s word, lay hands on yourself and declare what you know is God’s persuasion of you (You have been made righteous by your union with Christ, blessed, favored, you lack nothing because you are enriched in everything by Christ, you are secure in Him because your life is hid with Christ in God, etc). Most times when you have a personal time of fellowship in Prayer and thanksgiving your spirit is enlightened to hear what God is saying and where He is leading. He will reveal to you many things about your life, ministry, purpose and he will guide you to fulfilling it. In Apostle Paul’s epistles, he frequently made statements of mentioning the saints in his prayers; I don’t believe there were only prayers he prayed in public. I believe he had an alone time of fellowship and that way he was able to unlearned the things he previously believed to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ revealed the Gospel to Him through times of fellowship (Philippians 1:4, Ephesians 1:1 & 15, 1 Corinthians 14:18).
Set a particular time to study the Word and pray together:  This one sounds some how easy but in practical terms it’s a bit difficult. You may have different places where you work, different times when you go to work and return. There are days when you are required to leave the house earlier or later than usual. Amidst all these, make praying together a priority. Both parties should work on their schedules and agree in order to have a particular time when your pray together. Train yourselves to lay aside everything for this time of prayer and thanksgiving together. Buy a devotional and a study Bible, each person should actively participate; it should not weigh on one person. And above all do it joyfully.
Beloved brethren, it’s so easy to neglect these things especially in marriage. It’s so easy to be busy with other things and look at spending time with God as secondary or even unimportant. It’s so easy to feel you need to sleep longer and then give up maybe 30 minutes to one hour of your time for bible study because you’ll wake up with puffy eyes or tired (I’ve been there). As much as we’ve been saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus, we need to intentionally cultivate a habit of studying the Bible along with books written by ministers of the Gospel, in order to grow more and more in our knowledge of His person and finished works. As believers in Christ, we are energized by God to take pleasure in His will but we have to submit our faculties to the leadership of the Holy Spirit(Philippians 2:13). If not, He won’t even have room to reveal the will of God to us and to instruct us about what Christ accomplished with us, through us and for us. 

You are blessed!!!

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