MARRIAGE DOESN’T BRING HAPPINESS



I read a story of a young lady who is totally disgruntled and disappointed in marriage because of some expectations that failed. She grew up believing that she will only be happy when she gets married. And when she married a man from their church; she anticipated what I will call “a perfect picture”. In “a perfect picture” the husband is so born again, so understanding, so on point with all your prayer points but hey, this is a man we’re dealing with and not some fictional character in a play on TV or in a novel. And so, this man was just being himself and yet appeared to be a disappointment to his wife. Though they pray together and do a lot of things together, she didn’t feel she was where she wanted to be. She serves her husband grudgingly and she feels stuck to him because of their kids and for church’s sake. No offence but many married women today find themselves in a similar situation, aside from this woman’s band they dreamed of something else and got something else.It's quite erroneous to think marriage is a determining factor of happiness. A lot of young girls today spend so much time dreaming of a perfect marriage with the ‘perfect’ lovey-dovey husband, so romantic, always knowing what to say and when to say it. Coupled to the fact that he is a bible- carrying, tongues-speaking and Jesusfied brother, what more do we want from a man.

It’s alright to dream a little because everybody does but don’t make it an idol. Being single doesn’t make you an outcast and so don’t feel like you need to be married to be happy. Enjoy your single life by being kind, laugh aloud, be friendly, serve in your local church, learn new things and try out new recipes. You are most beautiful and fulfilled when you understand that you are complete in Christ alone.  Use your singleness as an opportunity to be a better you; to grow in many areas of your life. A lot of things you’re doing now won’t change after marriage. Happiness is something that comes from your inner man and thus it doesn’t depend on the things around but on you. Don’t forget you and your spouse are two people with weaknesses and so even with those weaknesses you will build a happy marriage because of the life of God in you both.  In marriage, you will have a companion no doubt but you will also need to lay aside those little irritating habits you had and so you can use this time to rid yourself of them. I believe the attitude we should all develop as single women should be selflessness. Be intentional about pursuing intimacy with God by investing your time, talents and treasures in the work of God. Take your eyes off this whole marriage big picture and celebrate this time of maturing especially spiritually. The more you spend time wishing for something you feel you don’t have yet, the more you feel it will determine your happiness. When you see with the eyes of Jesus, delay becomes a word of wisdom in your vocabulary. Don’t forget that God has already given you all of these things in His Son Christ Jesus and all you have to do is rest in His love for you. Understand that you will be happy in marriage not because you’re married but because you have let Christ be your joy.


You’re Blessed!



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