Courtship at times gets so amazing and
busy that we forget to find out certain very important things about our future
spouses. We will never know anyone enough but there are certain things and I
will call them pertinent; which we need to know considering our relationship to
particular people. We get so excited about the thought of marriage that little
foxes that spoil the vine (Songs of Songs 2:15) are left unchecked. These 14
points are some little but important aspects to find out before you become your
beloved’s spouse.
Family Background:
This has absolutely nothing to do with wealth or class in society but
everything to do with unity, peace, and love. Find out if they are united, if
they are in good terms with one another, what are their values? Are they born
again as your future spouse or is he/she the only born again? Etc. This is
absolutely important because these people will soon be part of your life and
you should know them as well.
Prayer Life and Style:
We may come from different denominational backgrounds. Find time to pray
together, study the Bible together, and talk about biblical principles and
share views. There has to be spiritual compatibility when it comes to marriage
otherwise it is bound to be a source of problems in your marriage. When some of
these things go unchecked, you won’t need anyone to tell you the things you’ll
face in your marriage.
Use of pornography and Masturbation:
This is not a grey area in courtship and talking about it is not so you can
start doing it but it’s for you to break free from it. And when discussing such
things, try as much as you can to be honest with one another. If you feel
ashamed to say it face to face, you can write it down on a piece of paper/letter
or as a text in your phone and send to your partner. If someone is telling you such
things, don’t try to act all ‘righteous’ and make them feel rotten or bad, show
concern and love and make them know you are there with them and they have your
trust. These things ruin marriages and thus you should talk about it while in
courtship so that if anyone is involved in it, you should seek counsel and both
of you should pray for total restoration (Matthew 11:28-30).
Skeletons in the Cupboard:
You will become one very soon and so you should trust each other enough to tell
some very personal things. Things maybe you did or it happened to you in the
past that you know may destroy your future. Maybe you were a victim of abuse,
or you abused someone, or maybe you did something and went scot-free and it
hunts your thoughts, or maybe you have attempted suicide once or several times for
some reason or another, or you were a robber or rapist; whatever it is, discuss
it with the person you want to marry. Discussing these things doesn’t make you
rotten, it shows you value what you have with your beloved and you desire to be
free and you also want your beloved to pray with you. When someone opens up to
you, never make a mockery of him/her with the story rather encourage and love
them more and appreciate their trust and openness.
Be Blessed in Jesus Name!
Be Blessed in Jesus Name!
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