This is the final part of some of the important things you should know once you get engaged.
Honesty Principle: Find out how important honesty in a relationship is to them. Have they been lying about certain things? How do they feel when they are being lied to? Do you tell them how you feel when they lie to you? This looks so small but intense because it will plant distrust and you will find it hard to believe whatever the person tells you and you might always feel you have been lied to in one way or the other!
Goals and Priorities: What are their goals? Do they plan to further their studies or change carrier in future? Do they plan to travel to different parts of this world? Are these goals going to affect your goals and priorities negatively or positively? Are these goals abstract and unreal? Are they hardworking enough to attain those goals or they are saying them to please you?
Chastity before Marriage: How is their commitment to chastity before marriage? Do they see compromise as an issue? Does it seem to them like an impossible commitment? Are they devising ways to secretly make you give in before marriage? Are they putting pressure on you?
Sexual History: Not
everybody goes into marriage a virgin and not everyone has stopped fornication
before their marriage. Talking about this will pave the way for you both to
feel at ease talking about sex to each other. One of you may be too experienced
and it may cause the inexperienced person to feel inferior and shy to admit
certain things. Does their sexual past hunt them? Do they feel horrified and ashamed
to talk about their sexual past? Do they have untreated or half treated
Sexually Transmissible Illnesses STIs? This is a very sensitive area in
marriage and quite a lot of other things stem from this sexual past that can
affect your whole life in marriage.
Medical Life:
Some people may not be necessarily sick but they have allergies. Some may be
sick and constantly on drugs while others may have been banned from eating or
drinking certain things for health reasons. In Christ we have divine health no
doubt but not everyone has come to that knowledge yet. Some people have been
diagnosed with certain illnesses and thus they need extreme care with handling
them. Some have medical reports showing traces of certain illnesses and things
needed to prevent further spread. There’s so much more but in case you are
faced with that how do you plan to be of help or support?
There
are probably a lot more but these aspects are quite important to know in a
potential spouse. Be nice; be polite when asking these questions and trust God
for wisdom to make any decision. Some people judge people by their pasts, by
the tattoos on their skin, by the length of their hair, the piercing on their
bodies,etc. Knowing and loving someone is falling in love with their souls and
not the outside figure. These qualities are not to help you chase suitors and
declare them imperfect but it’s a way to open your mind to know what you want
and go for it despite the imperfections. Your beloved, remember, is not someone
who will be everything you’ve seen in movies or a blend of perfect qualities to
produce a man/woman who has everything perfectly well. Be modest, be smart and
most of all prayerful. Incline your ear more to the voice of God because He
alone knows the end from the beginning (Alpha and Omega).
Be
Blessed In Jesus Name!!!
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