I heard these words one day when I was praying for my future husband. What did God mean by that? In simple terms God instructs me to be a reflection of the kind of man I want to marry. Yes! Many days I meditated on it and finally understood it as being a picture (not physically) of the man I’m trusting God for. I will be honest with you that I’m not the kind of girl that easily trusts a man with my heart. I made quite a number of mistakes and just didn’t see myself hanging out with someone who will play around with me. No way! It all started with an incident during my teenage years where I escaped rape and didn’t trust any man even though I have had boyfriends. I believed deep within they could never be trusted. I preferred to be alone but I was disturbed from time to time and so until this day when God gave me that word I wrote it in my notepad and my heart too. From then on, I was praying for God to take control of my heart. Gradually I realized that God was showing me how hard and enclosed I had been and how I expected men to behave in a particular way to show that they could be trusted. I let go so easily and didn’t fight for ordinary friendships. I was selfish and self-absorbed. As I spent time in fellowship with my Abba (Father), gradually I learnt to love, I learned to trust even people (Not trusting blindly) but letting the Holy Spirit guide me. Let me share with you some of the things God was taking off me.
Trust: Trusting God is
the first step to trust man. Many days I will meditate on Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord
with all thine heart and lean not on thine own understanding. In all thy ways
acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” I was born again no doubt
but I always wanted to be in control, seeing things happening and maybe even
fighting for them to happen my way and that wasn’t what God wanted. God wanted
me to trust him fully in all that I did. I wanted several things but not godly
things. But as I began trusting God, my view of life changed gradually. I
couldn’t believe I was the same person who when faced with any decision spent
time talking to God for counsel and started seeing the hand of God in
everything I did and rejoiced even when some of my plans failed. A marriage
without trust is headed for the rocks.
Love: I used to believe there was too
much hypocrisy and backstabbing in friendships (maybe because I was always the
faithful and tolerant friend). I grew up in a very good and trustworthy home
but I never believed in friendships, my sisters were always my best friends. I
always looked for reasons to see that friends didn’t care. One day while I was
reading a Christian book, the spirit of God started teaching me about
unconditional love. Loving people without boundaries, loving those who have
hurt you, loving people who criticize you on a daily basis, people who don’t
believe you can be your own person, people who don’t believe in your vision,
people who want your friendship for one reason or another etc. I burst into
tears because that was me. I had a happy life with my parents but out of their
home my life was filled with so much pain, anger and grudges, I harbored so
many thoughts of isolation but God touched my heart with His love .
During that time I was reading the New Testament and 1 John 4 for the ideal
book about God’s love and loving one another, slowly I began to let go of the
pain and troubles around me. God used Scriptures about love to teach me to
love. Love purely, joy in God and you will not feel empty.
Joy: Because I dwelled
so much on the negative things happening around me, I wasn’t happy. I was sad
deep inside and took special note of anything said to me. I honestly held a lot
of things against people who hurt me. How I love God’s love which is shed in
our hearts and it causes us not to love only in word but in deed (1 John 3:18),
I found myself praying for the people who hurt me and then I would declare
aloud that I love them with the love of Christ and that I am a product of love
and not hate because Jesus loves me and that’s why He gave Himself up for me.
The fountain of joy sprang up in my heart and I would spend some time dancing
in God’s presence and slowly His joy alone became my strength and will always
be. The joy of the Lord is my strength!
Forgiveness: God does not
condemn you and so why should you condemn another, forgive as your heavenly
Father has forgiven you. Several days I prayed for a heart that forgives and
little by little my heart has been forgiving. I discovered sometime that when
someone said ill against one of this people, I defended them so much that
everyone understood and felt the power of our friendship. Let go always because
it leads to bitterness of heart.
Spiritual walk: God didn’t want me
to just pray when I wanted, God made me realize He’s gifted me with His life and thus i am able to do so much for His glory. Many days I spent time praying for people I know, people He lays
in my heart to pray for, people in my family etc He led me to pray for family
members, friends, colleagues and even people I have never met etc. I studied
the Bible even more and God’s wisdom was showing through me especially when I
shared at home. I initiated family prayers and even when it fails I tried as
much I can to revive it. I joined the youth group in my church and other small
Christian youth committees. Serving helped me learn what it is like to be
committed and to serve in God’s church.
Beloved there’s so much
more I’ve learnt by letting God have His way. I’m still working on quite a
number of things and I’m grateful God is still working in and through me. You
may be just like me, you’ve been hurt and you find it difficult to trust others
or love them with the love of Christ or you find it so difficult to forgive them and it’s
draining all your energy and strength. Jesus is the Key John 1:4 “In Him was life; and
the life was the light of men”. John 8: 12 “Then spake Jesus
again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me,
shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life”, love, joy,
peace, patience, kindness, faith inter alia, are the things that makeup this
light of life. Seek God to show you the areas where you need to work on, areas
where you need to commit to Him for build up, things you’re holding unto that
have been holding you back from reflecting the man/woman you want to marry and
watch what God will show you. No good thing will God withhold from you and His
plans for you are plans to prosper you and not to fail you. I believe that the
Holy Spirit is doing same for my future husband, bringing to light things he
has to let go of for God to have His way.
You're Blessed!!!
Great!!!
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