Depression is a product of fear. Yes!
There are times when we get depressed there’s no one to share what we’re
feeling with. Why this fear? Because they might just say things that will hurt
us even more (people have done so before). Probably they may not be able to
feel the magnitude of the pain you’re feeling and they won’t have time to
listen but I would like to say we all need each other. I don’t deny the fact
that at times we don’t see why someone is crying her eyes out because of
something we consider very small but they are deeply hurt and that’s the point
we fail to understand. Sometimes you are drowning in problems and when you try to
explain it to someone the sentences they utter are; “I told you (Sarcastically)”
“What do you expect me to do?” “Now what?” “I knew it would come to this!” “Who
do you think will help you now?” etc. This is someone who is looking for a
shoulder to cry on and all we do is add salt to their injury. Please let’s
encourage one another and never say someone’s problem is small because if the
person is hurt then it’s big to them. Below are some phrases which when uttered
in times like this the person feels better.
1. I understand how you
feel. You may not necessarily be on the hot
seat your friend (loved one) is sitting on but because you make them understand
you feel their pain helps them feel better. This person does not feel better
because you have provided a solution but because you have put yourself in their
shoes and you’ve felt their pain from your stand point. When you say things
like this, your friend no longer sees the problem as big as it actually sounded;
he now sees it as something he too can overcome. In other words, you have given
them courage to face that problem.
2. I will pray with you. How
soothing to find someone who is ready to pray with you in times of confusion,
pain, anxiety, bitterness, misunderstanding, misjudgment etc. You realize that
the Joy of God has suddenly become your strength and all you want is walk
through this challenge. The magnitude of any problem is in the mind of the person
facing the challenge and so when they share it with you, they are honestly
expecting to lighten up but when you say things like “what do you want me to
do?” it tears them to shreds. They weren’t expecting you to take away the
problem but your concern is very important.
3. We are in this
together. Imagine that you are stock in real
trouble, the more you try to get out the more you are entangled. You can’t
think straight, all you think about is disappearing from the face of the earth.
It’s worse because the problem is confidential and you need just one person to
trust. You are bottling everything up and slowly dying within. And finally you
share it with this friend and she tells you “we are in this together”. Relieve
comes from nowhere and consumes every fiber of your body and you suddenly see
yourself as an overcomer. Now you see hope, your faith level increases and you
feel like David when He went against Goliath. Remember he had just his
slingshot and stones and funny enough Goliath asked if he was a dog to be shot
with a stone and yet that little stone shot with big faith killed him. Always
remind your loved ones their problems are your problems and they will feel
better.
4.
I
am here for you. Few words which gives
great relieve and peace. Sometimes we don’t have to remind our friends and
loved ones where they went wrong or tell them what they needed to do which they
didn’t do and which has landed them in this huge mess. You don’t have to
understand all the details but this simple phrase will give them hope. I know
we have some very pompous friends and loved ones, people whose opinions matter
a lot to them but when they fail should we laugh at them? No way! Be there for
them, encourage them and remind them you are with them and you won’t move an
inch from their sides. They feel loved.
5.
I
LOVE YOU. Here, hugs are absolute necessity. We
need these hugs because it gives so much relieve. Sometimes our friends and
loved ones are at fault, they caused the mess, and they thought they were
helping when it turned out badly but pointing fingers won’t do. Telling them where
they went wrong is no requirement at this level and pushing then away will make
matters worse. Telling them you love them will make them understand you have
accepted them with their weaknesses, imperfections, failures etc. It is very
important to remind your loved ones how much you love them even in their
weaknesses. Sometimes it makes them see where they went wrong and even brings
them faster to repentance than when you are hurling insults at them.
Brethren,
these are not all, there are many ways to encourage one another when they feel
downcast and depressed. The Spirit of God in us helps us to say the right words
in times like this. Let Him speak through you and bless someone. You will not always
know what to say but giving them a listening ear and a hug means so much to
them. I remember, I explained a situation to someone and she told me it’s my
problem, I cried alone for almost two hours at bedtime and then, I remembered
God was listening and I pictured myself at His feet with my head on His lap
crying and He was stroking my hair with His hand while listening. All I
remember is, I woke up refreshed and ready to fight. God is awesome always. Be
a friend of God because he’ll never leave you or forsake you (Proverbs 18:24b).
Romans 12: 8(New Living translation) if
your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give
generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility
seriously. And if have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.
Always pray to be an encourager, someone that your friends can trust in times
of misery and pain.
Be
Blessed In Jesus Name!!!
Halleluiah!!!
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